COINCIDENCE
I have never believed in too many coincidences.. This is probably because of those foolish things I have inculcated in myself through the Crichtons' and Sheldons', but, I never believe in too many coincidences, they only seem to be made up... So, when someone tells me something like, I never got your message and follow it up immediately with ' I got to go NOW', or 'My Boss has something real important for me', well, it only makes me feel they don't want to talk to me... they don't get ur message until they got something important to work on... If at home, when u call them, its just the time to eat, or take bath or...... Had another of these irritating conversations today.. Only the person I was talking to was so very good and important to me... Never felt it was a lie, but only an attempt to avoid...
Forget it, neways, thing is, too many coincidences never go together, whoever tells that to me, they're not true to their conscience... Cud occur once or twice, but if it happens always, itsn't a coincidence neways and only leads to relating it with the rest....
The few people I love to be with know and will understand... I hate to have nemore of this... Desperately want to put a full stop here.

REALITY BITES
Very frankly, Iam trying to come back to reality...
How foolish would it sound, if i said, Iam not a Cancerian and an Aquarian???? Its shameful... I have been thinking I can do without borrowing money from people, when the reality is, the last two months I have just been able to pay off only the late fee and finance charge on my AMEX card and I possibly can never repay the actual debt... My Image Processing course only deceivingly guarantees an A and the other course I have taken does not remotely serve the purpose... I may never get started with my thesis, for Iam too lazy for that, should I go and ask them to grant me a non-thesis Master's??? The salary they give me for grading is a huge waste. Can never accept that Iam inferior to anybody, NEVER....
When I resign cursing me for being so, there're people who shamelessly blog about their own shortcomings, in the pretext of blaming others.... Phew... VS, you're becoming another of those lesser mortals, pleeeeaaaseeee..............

Cancerian - The Dreamer
The last few days have been really active. There weren't any volcanoes, but a few boulders did definitely roll. Friday, had a test and went 20 minutes late... well, that really was a comedy of errors...
Saturday night, one of my friends called me... not that he doesn't call me or something, but eversince he returned from India, we've only been chatting over messenger.
Now, come Sunday night and I receive another call from a completely unexpected corner. I seriously don't even know if this person remembered me, but in the last few days, I've thought a number of times, of pinging over the messenger, only to be stopped by my ego. Would you believe if I said I have checked the incoming calls four times this morning to make sure it was not one of those dreams (WAIT, there is a missed call in my mobile from the same number @#$@#$^^%&$&#$% flummoxed @#$#@%^^) Half way through my sleep, my roomie comes and tells me that India were following on in the test against the Kiwis!!! A home test and India following on??? And I attended the class this morning at 8 a.m. (again, the door was held for me by the same person who called me, come on...), which definitely does not help my cause.
Am I on October the 20th??? Why am I dreaming so much??? VS - You've lots to do, a project due tomorrow, the first step towards thesis due this week.... WAKE UP...

SELF-HATRED
Last year july, I was the person most loved by me on earth... But, the day I landed in this rotten country, I have been deteriorating in my list of real-nice people.
First I had to come here, leaving my parents and sister back, when I knew pretty well that my sister was to be married soon and I should have added no financial burden to them... How selfish of me? Secondly, after coming here I had to go beg every open and closed door for assistantship, even without knowing if I would be a deserving candidate or knowing if the voice from inside the door belonged to someone technically interested in my interests... Thirdly, I stopped reporting to a professor, with whom I was working real good, for an assistantship that would only ditch me after 5 months... I have been grumbling so badly and sometimes complaining that I don't get a job on-campus, when I don't even know if Iam worth it. And Now, I have managed to get a job on-campus and this is by that meanly beastly recommendation, which really saps out all interest, life and credit I'd get out of anything I can do there... If there's a person on earth I 'd love to kill first its ME... I don't have the courage to commit suicide and for all those fools and cheaters, Iam not a coward to commit suicide... Iam still going to do this job... And if anyone there working off-campus, you're in a whole lot better position than me, atleast, you can do something as you please and earn for what you work.. I don't know what Iam going to do here...
God, why do you let such creatures exist???? May be that's why you decided, I'd struggle later....

Bungley Ganguly???
I've always been a Ganguly fan and the way he used to play in his initial days and the bold decisions he makes as a captain have always made me support him more strongly. Its 3:45 in the morning and Iam still awake following the match... Astle and McMillan trying it pull it out for NZ... Now, when Iam completely with Ganguly in the declaration yesterday (I still feel, it could have been better if India played another 5 overs, but for the game, it was a right decision), I can't understand what he's trying to do today. There is a good possibility that his gamble could pay-off, but, why was Sehwag introduced so late? Why is the new ball being brought, when the best bet is in Bhajji and Kumble and may be Viru? Why new ball to Balaji and not Zaheer???? Well, please don't tell me the result is going to be a draw... At this time, I should accept its totally Ganguly's mistake if his plan boomerangs, I don't see any clear plan :(((
Probably, the only interest cricket could carry is the hooliganism that Smith, Hall and Youhanna involve in...

How bad is BAD?
The presentation was over yesterday and I don't know if it was bad, worst or kinda good... Personally, I wasn't satisified with that, it din't bring out the hardwork... :(
Today, another embarrassing event occurred... My never-ending and no-successful attempt of looking for an assistantship... I don't know what is to be felt or how others feel, but, when I got NO for an answer, I really feel bad. Whatever be the reason, the bottomline is I could not fit myself in that position, be it because I was worthless, I belong to some other department, I don't have the background.... whatever you say, after this long, the one thing that props up prominently is your ability... Not one person, in one of the biggest campuses in the country, finds my worth, well, that leaves me in real bad light...
One good thing though, I have learnt to laugh at myself... When he said, he wouldn't want me, I just couldn't help laughing, laughing at me, laughing at my shamelessness, laughing at my ineptitude... I better complete my Master's and get into the known oblivion soon....

RAIDERS, Paint the town RED
Yesterday, was the game....Texas Tech vs. Texas A&M.. Not, that Iam a college football buff, but, in the last one year, with this being most watched sport on TV, I happened to learn a wee-bit... As usual the raiders thrashed the Aggies.... din't manage to follow to the end... Its really interesting when these games come up, the one thing that matches the election-days in india, is the statues here are cloaked in red... the streets bear red flags of double-T... ppl don red shirts... literally, they PAINT THE TOWN RED...
After a real long time, we had arranged a get-together and as all our plans go, it was a HUUUUGE flop.... A get-together for 12 people ended up with 5 showing up.. and we din't call a few others, expecting a few cheaters... well, no complaints, no regrets, we got something left for today and tomorrow, thanks Kau, Dill & Ranjith for making it in C-24.. Let everybody remember 'As you sow, so shall you reap' funda... Its even a waste of time, effort and words mentioning them...
Otherwise, all u ppl, don't forget to visit Raapi's blog... Its real expression of how every parent feels without you back home. Raapi, convey my gratitude to your appa... It was a real nice write-up...
OK, I've been making too many spelling mistakes today... Iam not able to type... Not very often does your weekend get spoiled so easily, except when someone ires you that Saturday morning and others add fuel to the (f)ire that evening...
Lemme quit and get back to some preparation for the demo this tuesday... Well, I think I made a mistake in saying that I had done that project pretty well... my logic, i think, has failed me, gotta look thru it again... so long.....

Check 'n Mate
Well, did i title it wrong... Before the perverts think of something, I seriously din't have anything shady in mind.. just was feeling real bored and had nothing to do.. Another friday, 8'o clock class.. Frankly, have been attending this class only on fridays.. Its really boring.. Reading something from the book, well, if they'd give me half the salary he gets, I'd do a better job, honestly... neways, there was another staff who used to get some pdf's or steal from some site and show off as if she taught...
Anyways, nothing to write... Finished with a project and did it pretty well too.. Iam satisfied, no matter what grade I get for that... Now totally bored, started playing chess and lost two games pathetically... third one, my dial up knocked me out :((
Well, enough with that, October has come and this month isn't going to be boring... So, may not frequent this place...
Take care guys... all those who'ven't been in talking terms , may be you won't get to know about me through me for sometime, may be you will....
who knows, who cares... I blog because I get bored... "yaam petra inbam peruga ivvayyagam" ;)
obVSly...