Friday, August 29, 2003

End of another week

Another week has come to an end... This one was really boring and painful... As it always goes, I end up with lesser friends, more worries and no money. Started of with my deciding to work on thesis and loot a few SouthWest Collection minutes to waste a bit everyday on blogging. Blogs came out really poor and thesis never began...

The blasts in BOMB-BAY, Water Harvestment Ordinance in India, Archealogical Survey of India's findings, the Pierce-Dokic thriller, Blast outside an Iraqi Mosque, Resignation of Alastair Campbell (Blair's Chief of Communications).... lots happened this week.

But for the disturbing twin-bomb episode, it was heartening to see the developments in India. The new water harvestment ordinance really goes to show that Indian politicians too want to do something good for the people. There have been a number of recent steps taken by the government that make me take pride in having elected this government and feel that I should elect the same party in the next elections. The Golden Quadrilateral, Bombay-Pune Road, drop in phone charges, re-surge in number of foreign companies investing in India..... I don't mind if this coalition squanders money, for they have done something for the nation... Think about a M.K.Stalin as mayor of chennai, erecting flyovers for speed-breakers... Accepted one or two of them serve the purpose, but, the money that has gone into it and the quality of construction really make every Tamilian cringe and feel ashamed.

I would love to go back and live in this country (not that I wanted to come out of it before). Long Live A.B.Vajpayee and his team. Mera Bharat Mahaan


Wednesday, August 27, 2003

What word is that? Do you find that in the dictionary? Is there anyone who can explain its meaning to me? Well, its getting too far. Why on earth is nothing fair?
Another irritating end to a day. One of my close friends here has left the town for a job, another person I counted on doesn't want to see things fairly. I hate this day.. I don't want to trust anyone... Please God, don't make me go through another of these..........


Monday, August 25, 2003


After a real good time, I've chosen to write of something I really hate to think. A trip that we went a few months back. I have always loved living with a crowd and sometimes even blamed for being gregarious. So, a few months back, my foolishness made me call everyone I knew in this rotten city of Lubbock for a trip to Dallas, around 6 hours' drive from here. We were so many people that we had to travel in two cars and one had to leave (not for any important work, but HAD to leave). Everything was great, until I was woken of my sleep to be informed of the accident that the other car that had met with. It wasn't a big deal, after we got to know that none of them was injured and only the car was damaged beyond repair. Well, this infact, (atleast I thought) knit us closer, before we received a call from the insurance agency that we had to pay USD15,700. Well, this was the point when the blamegame started. Someone was being blamed and he took it on himself for having been the driver of the car. But, a little digging into it, would describe the reasons of it, only that none would want to dig or accept reality, after all, doesn't reality bite? Now, it has grown into hatred. Well, Iam one of those hated because, I don't feel anybody is actually responsible for the whole accident. The thing that really hurts is, all those who have been absolutely worthless of uttering a word, now point fingers... Well, why do I recall all this? Now is the time when we just paid part of the money and it still does not suffice. I begin to hate people I loved because, I see their true colors. I begin to feel how worthless I have been in counting on them. Another of my friends is still not in a position to hire a car because of this accident.
Do I have to subscribe to "Blood is thicker than water" thing? I won't. Atleast, I still have friends, who won't let me or anybody down, just because it is MONEY. I cherish my friends, and Iam really gifted for having been with them. There are a few with whom I talk little or never talk at all, but, they'd always help me and make me see reality. They would not want me to support something wrong, because, it was committed by someone we knew. We were friends and stood to the meaning of it. We were friends who were always there when in need. This comes to show that the biggest blunder I had committed in life was to have come here for an MS. Good God, its coming to an end now. Not more than 2 semesters do I have to stay here... Thanks a ton. I miss a few of them, but its only for my own betterment. I have started working on my thesis, though its only an hour every week. I have atleast realised the need to go back to India asap. I have atleast brought the day of staying with my real friends a bit closer. I have reduced my expenses a good lot. What more reason does one want?


Sunday, August 10, 2003

To Blog or Not to Blog....

When one of my friends showed me this site, I really did not feel like sitting before the computer and wasting a few minutes on this. All the more, when I rarely sit before a comp, unlike what I have been for the past 3 years. But, now I feel, I've really got a chance to put in my views about the happenings, all the more, when the homepage I have, has not sufficient space for blabberations.

I too am one of those fools to have quit the job in India to come for an MS in Electrical Engineering. But, not many days before, did I really repent for having quit THAT job. But, with the current financial situation Iam in, I have no other go to long for those kingly days.

Very frankly speaking, Iam not one of those people who are afraid that they are going to be jobless after their MS. My grades haven't been impressive. I have forgotten all the technical stuff I had known. I have not even started on my thesis. To cap it all, I have been repeatedly failing in getting an on-campus job, which for other people here is like changing a pair of socks. But, I am neither one of those people who have closed the option of going back to India to work. I think there is a job waiting for me. When it comes to it, Iam going to be another of those insecure sinecures, but never lacking confidence.

Why in first place did I choose to come here? Honestly, Iam not that studious and have never been those toppers' stuff. But, I wanted a change and was looking at some place where I would have a few of my best (and when I say best its BEST) friends. It was Lubbock, a not-much-known city in Texas, having nothing but the Texas Tech University. Had a real good first semester, despite no funding, no money and being a profligate. Again it was because had a GREAT friend here, (infact, though he was my junior had never been to my room in hostel, when doing undergraduate) and got a few more thick friends. As Rapi (another of my closest friends) always says, the closer I get to ppl, the more I fight with them, for I never think we can part. But, I happened to lose them and call it EGO or dignity (whatever crap english offers), I don't see I can get back. Now, I don't feel like making anymore friends. How stupid.... Is this what life is? I never used to have time for things like blogging, for I was always with people with whom I can dawdle for hours together, never getting tired of anything they speak, however meaningless they be. But now, I have very few people with whom I can talk and only two people who NEVER bore me. With one of them missing for the last few days and the other leaving to India in a few more, Iam really becoming fidgety... Oh God, Please wake up this Cancerian. All the confidence I had is suddenly drifting away. Won't those ppl come forward and talk to me? Won't we sit together for a few hours and slap each other for this foolishness? Can't life be like what it was? Let me become technically strong to travel back in time and undo all this idiocy....